Others… or myself?

It has been a really really really long time, one week actually, since I posted. And the reason for this is because I have been super busy, as you all should know. I was supposed to go to the gym, but since my mom was reluctant to come home and drive me, I'm here blogging.

Basically, let's see what I can remember from last week, with a little help from my agenda =D

I found out that OSAID was lacking members, and that people outside of the council wanted to join and become part of the executive team. So, due to my growing interest thanks to MADD volunteering, which is quite exciting as well as my determination to get on student government, I decided to take initiative. So I went to the meeting on Tuesday with Sharyn, and I told mrs. Gioia. Soon, Mrs. Smyth sent me an email telling me that I am vice president of OSAID! Isn't that so great!?! Anywho, I'm excited. I guess, me being VP of OSAID has nothing to do with lots of people. But what's important that I wanted to mention is the lesson of taking initiative. Honestly, I did not believe that I would be able to become part of the exec team, and even when I thought that I might have a chance, I was thinking about something like secretary and what not. Little did I know, that I would become VP. I am using this story in my life as an example to tell you that unless you take initiative and actually work towards what you want, you never know if you can do it or not. I was a bit hesitant at first to go to the meeting and ask because I thought that it would be bad as I am breaking the rules and I thought that I didn't have much of a chance anyways, but I knew that if I didn't go, I would regret and constantly think about what if I went, would I have got it? So in order for me to bypass that, I went, and it worked. Taking initiative and working towards our goals not only pays off, it allows me to grow and change and learn a new lesson.

On Wednesday I tutored, and that's about it…. Then on Thursday, we had our Anti-Bullying meeting as well as a BAM meeting. So for anti-bullying I found out that I am president… sure it's a good thing, but I'm also kind of worried and a part of me even feelings sorry or sympathizes for the person who I was against. So yeah…

My religion CPT, which was to create a 20 day travel magazine for a tour of four religions of the world is due this Wednesday. He handed out the assignment and gave us time to work on it starting the end of April. So basically I had more than a month. But I didn't actually start until last weekend, which is really bad… but I guess I was just busy with other stuff. I started worrying and I spent hours on it… it took a really long time… but I finished =D and that I am happy about. I am glad that I could finish it before Monday. – actually I finished it at 2am on Saturday… I had a barbeque on Saturday with my family and during that gathering, as everyone was talking and eating outside, I had my laptop outside infront of me as I was working o n my religion cpt… bad times, but it was worth it. There were many times when I was tempted to do other stuff, like waste time, and there were even more times when I was distracted and just didn't work… but I guess, at night, when everyone was asleep, I had to be determined to finish my work. I really wanted to finish and I really needed to finish. I guess, although I left it to last minute, as long as I was determined and did what I was supposed to do… following my plan… then that's whats important. Also, my English CPT. I guess what I developed or kinda learnt this year from writing essays is during my writing process, to not look back and reread or reedit and take out and like reword my work. Even when I feel that it doesn't make sense or when I get stuck, just keep writing… so that's what I've been doing… I left the cleaning up for the days later for editing… so yesterday as I was writing my essay, I kept on thinking about how bad it was. I was just so tired and so confused… maybe because my outline was really bad and I wasn't really sure what I was writing about. I had no sense of direction whatsoever. So now I am really worried about my essay… its 10% of my final mark… its really big… and it feels as if I'm not gonna do good, cause the quality of this essay, compared to the other ones are really bad. I just hope its not like last year when I did really bad on my cpt but really good on everything else….

So today… I'm finally at today! And I'm like 900 words in =D

So today, I got to school third period, for English, because I needed to work on my essay and I thought she was gonna talk about the play and stuff, so I didn't want to miss it. But she wasn't here, neither was my chem. Teacher… which means that I shouldn't have come to school at all today, cause I didn't really end up doing much except for wasting time… so that was bad. After school we had our last and final meeting of the year for SAS. That was exciting… somewhat. We had a guest speaker from Duke of Ed come in to talk about the award. I am already enrolled in it and am trying to finish it… but since the SAS members know about it, maybe we can work as a group and finish it…

Oh btw, I'm learning how to ride a bike again! Haha… and I'm gonna die doing it! But I'm doing it nonetheless! =D

Uhm, that's about it… there's more… but I don't feel like it now… gotta do some work!

Quote!

"You can never please everyone. In fact, if you please 50 percent of the people, you're doing quite well." – Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

I like this quote but I don't like this quote.

It sucks, along with lots of other things in life, that I cannot please everyone, but it's the unfortunate truth. I try to do my best to satisfy everyone, but I realize that in addition to not being able to satisfy EVERYONE, even in my small group of friends, if I satisfy other, I forget myself.

I guess we should keep in mind that… yes, making sure that other people are happy is important, but just don't go out of your way to do that.

I know I should do that… but sometimes, I disregard that thought and continue to do things for other people, regardless of whether I want to or not… this means that I still have to work on this… euh…

Hotpot outside? xD

Hey guys, so I guess I haven't blogged in a while, but in addition to that… it feels like there is a lot I have to say… but it's hard to get it all out… actually, I think it's impossible. Okay, so today was the VICTORIA DAY HOTPOT which was pretty good. It went through what felt like a lot of planning, which was fun. So what happened exactly today? People were there at like 10-ish to get the tables and stuff. But then, more and more people came, and eventually practically everyone was there at around 12-1pm. But I wasn't. I was late, for once. This is half because I was just late and also because I had to drive all the way down to my uncle's restaurant to pick up some sushi. I didn't order that much because my mom said that it wouldn't be nice to get so much from my uncle, 'specially cause it's for free… so I tried to limit it. But then as I brought it to the park, the sushi was practically gone in like 5 minutes xD

Uhm, well, last year I learnt how to ride a bike which was really cool. Not really the learning how to ride the bike part, but more so how all or most of my friends were so helpful and willing in teaching me how to ride a bike. It was really meaningful to me. I guess I didn't really learn anything this year, but I think one of the highlights was actually feeling more normal and getting a tiny bit closer to some person. Which was absolutely awesome. Oh, and I sung, infront of a few people, which was unexpected but really awesome just the same. Then I got those songs stuck in my head, and I still do… but it's all cool

The other highlight was skipping stones and half-hiking. We went for a walk and we were kind of walking in the forest and near the water and stuff and it was pretty cool. Like really, it's not that I haven't noticed this before, but everyone, and I mean most people… haha, that was contradicting. But yeah, I guess everyone has their good side, but some people is more seeable and present than others. Like seriously, really, so many of my friends are soo cool and so great and so nice and so everything else. It's just amazing. It's like what you can say an honour, or truly a gift from god to be friends or even know them.

Okay

Yeah this is a really really really short post, but I've got to go.

Quote!

"today is a gift, that's why its called the present."

Not only is today a gift, everything that I have is a gift and I think we should all learn to be thankful and truly thankful and take time to think and understand or appreciate what we are given.

Electing the spells?

It's really funny, cause I always write a blog post when I am most tired, most busy and always after I volunteer or help out at school events. Today was the closing finale of GODSPELL, which, by the way, was FANTASTIC, or "excellent" as my teacher said. And it's all true; it's so great being able to help out (though I didn't really do much) and just see all the enthusiasm and being able to talk to and see all those family members and friends of the actors and actresses, it's just great.

Now, before I continue talking about today, I think I should go back in time and talk about what happened a few days ago first, just so I'm not missing anything.

So, I guess the last time I posted was the premiere night for Godspell, and as I got home, you could say, I was kinda having one of those moments where things weren't working out and I just wasn't all that happy. But wow… all I can say and think is that I am so blessed and so fortunate to be living and a part of this loving community and being a part of the great/awesome circle of friends that I have. Really, you guys are amazing, and I can't stress it much more. You guys are the root cause of my actions, you guys have shaped me to who I am today and you guys have been with me, through tough times and good time, helped me when I needed help and showed me what true love and friendship is all about. It is because of YOU guys that I can continue doing what I do and learning what I learn. I just don't know what more to say. I mean, you guys are great, and you know it! There is so much talent in all of you, there are so many gifts, values and qualities, all different and exciting in their own unique ways.

Lots of times when I talk to people I mention the things that they do wrong and the things that they do bad on, and sometimes leaving out the things that they do good in. Cause, In my opinion or if it were me, I would much rather and even encourage people around me to tell me if I am doing something wrong and stuff, I know what I am doing good in, I just want to do better. And if you were to tell me what I did wrong, I would be able to acknowledge that and learn from that.

Okay, let's see, I am going to unfortunately have to skip a few things here and there cause I have a chem. Test tomorrow, and I haven't studied yet. Okay, what I wanted to mention was presidents speeches today at school. They were absolutely amazing, I mean seriously, I don't know what more to say. They were inspirational, motivating, informative and just brought out the best in all of them. They was a lot of suspense and tension and like, all the candidates were seriously great candidates with lots of potential and much worthy of the positions that they ran for. But the council members inevitably had to chose between the two and I guess the results are fair but not necessarily what I would have hoped for. I just hope that they will be able to bring forth the best in the school and do what they want to do, to be able to reach for the stars and make a difference!

Someone asked me if I was in any councils, and I said no. and it's really funny, cause I'm in a lot of stuff at school, but I'm not in any councils. I guess I kinda feel that I can do better. Like I know that if I join something and I am devoted to it I can make a difference and help it. But why have I not joined any councils. Well, because I think that although the councils can improve on different aspects and grow, they are, for the most part, pretty stable and well structured. Whereas small clubs and committees who also want to make a difference and are running for a good cause have not been as successful, due to the lack of personnel and just encouragement. But what I guess I have been trying to do was to try my best in helping the small clubs and committees who have the potential to do so much more, and to make such a bigger difference in the school community.

Okay, Quote:

I guess this is kinda cheating, cause I'm technically supposed to put a new quote up, but this one is like my motto or something that I go by everyday and sincerely believe in.

"small steps make the biggest difference"

And it's really true because I know that by helping the smaller clubs and committees, I can make a large difference and impact in the school community.

One of those days

Okay

This is kinda emo-ish sad. And it doesn't really occur very often, once every two months or so. But yeah, I'm quite hesitant to put this up. I was initially worried about how people might view me afterwards. How people will react to the things I do, how they will think about me. But you know what. I DON'T CARE. You can think however you like about me. I will not change or not do something because of that.

So I am posting this, hopefully without regretting.

As you see me day by day at school, it may seem as if everything is just perfect. That I am super happy and what not. But sometimes, every once in a while, there are these days, like today where I am just really upset. I just cry. Everything seems to go wrong. I just

I try hard at school

I do well at school

I help a lot of people

I try to be nice to everyone whenever I can

But I still can't or am not allowed to do simple things that I want to

When I want to

Like watching television.

Peacefully

And eating something happily

I don't know why

I just can't enjoy for once

I can't relax like I wish I could



Getting good marks isn't easy

Nothing in life is easy

Being me isn't easy

And sometimes

I just want to stop

To stop being who I am

Stop doing what I do

Sure I enjoy doing what I do

But sometimes its just too much

I just cant handle it all

Especially when I cant do the things I want to do

When people don't treat me the way I treat them

when no one cares


There are days when I am not myself

There are days when everything goes wrong

When my life becomes sad

I am denied everything

I just can't have what I want

Even if I think I deserve it

And today is one of those days

Shoes

Okay, so I am finally home from a super long day at school and then volunteering for Gospell, which, by the way, was FANTASTIC! =D

So, I guess today at school wasn't really much of an exciting day, it was just normal. Nothing super interesting or nerve-wrecking. It was just a normal, calm day at school.

I think it is either that I am super stressed or something. Cause (it might sound like I'm whining or complaining or something, but I'm not – I hope I'm not) really, I don't know it just feels weird, I don't really have a way to describe it. Like, just now, I for some reason just bawled my eyes out. And it's weird cause I don't really know the exact reason why I'm doing so, I just am. Well, actually I know there's a reason, just it's yet to be discovered/ revealed to public. Times like these happen every while… guess its when things don't turn out, or feels like I just can't do what I want… when things just don't feel like they're fair. But I guess these are the things I have to learn from. Maybe that not everything in life is fair, which is unfair…

Oh, something you guys should know beforehand: whenever we (my mom and i) have conversations and my brother is there, either in the car, at home, whatever. He is physically there, but not mentally. We talk and discuss about something, which relates to him and we ask for his opinion and he goes "huh?" he didn't hear us! He wasn't paying attention. He had no clue what on earth we are talking about. And I think it's really unfortunate that he cannot contribute and take part in our conversations. Like he just isn't willing to. So like the other thing is that whenever my mom and I talk (when I refer to my mom and I, it means we are openly talking, meaning my brother or anyone else can also come in and talk), my brother is kind of excluded. Not because we don't include him, but because he himself stays out of it.

Okay, so I guess I randomly found a lesson or something that stood out for today. Before I begin with my story though, I just want to say that I am not blaming anyone, trying to be selfish or greedy, although it may sound like it. So basically my mom bought a new phone, but only because she liked the phone, not because anyone needed a new phone. She wasn't going to use it. Actually in the beginning, she was debating on whether or not she was going to buy it, but I knew she liked it, so I told her that she should get it. But she also didn't want to buy it and leave it there, 'cause it would be a waste. So, I told her that I would use it if she wanted me to. And I thought it would be nice to switch phones. (not that I didn't like my blackberry or anything) So later on in the week, my brother finds out because my mom was telling him about it. He then gets really excited and goes "OMG I want it! I want to use it! I'll use it for you!" A few weeks past and it is mailed to our house. Today, we got it, and as we got home, he saw the box, which my mom left unopened and he just opened it and started playing with it. My mom tells me that he said that he will use it, only for the first few days. And I'm like, WTF, you can't do that. Like its not right, cause you can't just take something that is new, and like it only because it's new and use it then when you get bored and tired of it after a few days then give it away. Its not right. Later on in the night, after the phone has finished charging, he goes "can I use the phone?" and I'm like yeah, if it's finished charging, cause I thought he meant whether or not he could use it if it hasn't finished charging. Then he goes "cause mommy said you wanted to use it to, but I want to use it, so can I use it" and I mean, really, I don't think he deserves it. – not that I really did anything to deserve it either, but I think if he wants to use it, he should earn it. But he asked me, not that he wanted to, but because he knew that if he didn't ask me and get my approval, because I initially said I would use it, my mom would not allow him. But him asking me like that, puts me in a situation where, if I said no, it would be mean, selfish and just not right. But if I said yes, then I wouldn't get to use it, which isn't really a big deal, but I guess, I kinda had my hopes up for it. So what I said was: "well, what do you want me to say?" then he goes "well, I want to use it… so can i?" like he's basically asking for my permission, and he doesn't take my feelings and emotions and my desires into consideration, he only cares about whether he gets it or not. Well of course I had to say yes.

Like I guess the context and content in the story doesn't really matter, cause I don't need you guys to know everything that goes on in my life, but I think that the message or what you get out of this little 2 minute real-life scenario is what's important. Basically I guess, we want to learn to take people's feelings and stuffs into consideration. Try to learn to put yourself in someone else's shoes before you make a decision. So when my brother asked me, or even before he asked me, if he would have thought about the fact that I might want to use it too. The second thing is, once you realize that they want it too, or that it would affect them, CARE for them. Try and make sure that they are okay with it and don't manipulate them as to put them in a position where they have basically no choice but to say yes. But I guess like, people like me, would rather sacrifice myself and deal with it myself, as opposed to being selfish and not care about others, even if they didn't deserve it.

Now, some of you may be thinking that I am a totally materialistic and greedy person. But I'm not, well I hope I'm not, cause I know that it is so much more important to divert away from materialistic and tangible things.

Due to the lack of time, this is my whole post for today, but try and get something out of it. Other than the fact that I dislike my brother – which I don't. I guess these are lessons on the learning.

Quote:

Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Care for them as you care for yourself. Make sure that no one is harmed by your actions, that is the essential to achieving your goals.

Maybe that's not the best quote ever, cause I just came up with it, but like I tried to summarize the lesson of the post =D

 

Open Mind

So, big thing about today – I WENT TO CHURCH =D

And it was AWESOME xD

Which may be a surprise to some people, but yeah,… I really enjoyed it for some super odd random unknown reason. I'm sure some of you are reading this and going I HATE YOU, others; this isn't the mike I know… or WOW, am I seeing what I think I'm seeing? Hehehe

Lately, I've been trying to get back into the church routine which I have lost for like more than 5 years… which is a scary long time… considering its like one third of my life..

But I'm really glad I got back into it today, and I hope to continue… I think it will be really cool

… sorry, I just had to add this in here: In addition to typing on this word document, I am talking to someone who likes killing things… which totally conflicts my topic at the moment… but yeah haha – off topic again

I just realized this, but I think it is really really really important. – The way we view things and entering an atmosphere or doing something new with an open mind.

This is just one example, but there are many more personal life experiences on how my experiences change and become so much more meaningful when I think of it or participate in it with a positive outlook and an open mind.

So today, at church, I actually paid attention, and I wasn't even forcing myself or trying to, I actually enjoyed it and all. I can recall the last I went to church, which was involuntarily and before I stepped in, even the night before when I was at home, I was dreading it. I was just like, OMG a waste of time, its boring and blah blah blah. But I guess, throughout the years, I changed … A LOT… and I guess this change led to my openness and positivity. And because of that, today was more meaningful and this mass was more special.

Next time you go on some trip or go somewhere with your parents, friends, whatever, and you don't want to go. Do me and yourself a favour. Since it is an inevitable fact that you have to go and that you will not get out of it. Try going with a positive outlook and an open mind. Be excited for it, at least try to. Think of the good sides, and if you can't think of any, at least don't be dreading it and don't constantly think about the bad things. If you think it is boring, try to make it more exciting.

Like sometimes the mass does get a bit boring… change your sight… look at the stain glasses or look at a cute little kid in the front isle and what not.

Oh btw, my favourite part of mass is the part where you go "peace be with you" and shake their hand. I think it is always really neat and cool to know and receive that comment from someone else. Similar to what Katie mentioned a while back of knowing that someone is praying for you every night… and yes, btw, I do pray for ALL of my friends at night xD…

Okay, I'm sure there's more going on in my mind, but I just can't quite think of it and actually be able to explain it, so I'll just end off here.

Quote time =D

"always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine." Lord Byron

Okay, I stole this off Deacon Michael Walsh's twitter page lol, but I thought it was a really decent and appropriate line for this post

As I mentioned before, life and our experiences and others' lives and experiences will be so much more meaningful, eventful, exciting, interesting, and happy if we all were open minded, positive, outgoing and laughing.

Just think about that. Try it out. Go to school tomorrow, with a positive outlook. Think about all the good things and try and make the best of this learning experience. The day just might go THAT much faster and be THAT much more fun and meaningful.

Thanks guys

Curious about being jealous

So what exactly am I doing at 12:30 in the morning? Well. You guessed it, I'm BLOGGING =D

Yeah, I turned off my computer, brushed my teeth, turned off the lights, and was in bed, even closed my eyes… then I woke up or opened my eyes turned on my computer and decided to blog again. There's something about blogging, whatever it is, that makes me want to do it… there's a sense of completion, a feeling of relief and happiness that I get once I finish blogging, it's weird, but I think some people might understand.

Okay, so what happened today? Well yeah, today was a pretty cool Saturday, I'd say. I woke up and I went to the library and met up with melisha… which was fun… and kinda weird, but I ended up buying a book and borrowing four books, so I've got quite a lot of reading to do… in addition to the pile of work I have sitting right beside me. About my CPT's, I have my religion and my English cpt that I have to work on, but for some reason I just don't know what to do, don't feel like doing it and I just lost my sense of direction with them. Because of that, it might be an excuse but either way, I am for some reason not working on them, I do soo many different things, just not that, and its really bad, but yeah… I know that eventually, when the due date nears, I'll be working my ass off and freaking out about it, but I can't help it. I feel really bad for not working and stuff too, but it's still not enough to motivate me to work on it…

Later today I went to the movies with sharyn. Haha finally! And initially it was supposed to be sharyn and I, but then I told my mom that she could come because she was saying that she wanted to watch and that I never watch any movies that she wants to watch with her and she ends up watching them alone. So I felt bad and I told her she could come. Then I realized that I promised sharyn that it was just me and her, but since it was so long ago, I forgot. Now I feel bad for that. Then sharyn asks if bryan can come, and he ended up coming, which was pretty cool, cause I got to meet someone new, though I didn't really talk to him, but yeah. Celine was supposed to come… but she didn't due to family reasons. She missed out… let's hope she gets to watch it. It was seriously the most amazingest movie I have seen in quite the while. It really was good, and there were many times where I was like aww and started tearing up and stuff, and they were just so emotional and touching times in the movie, it was great.

So yeah, something I wanted to talk about are curiosity, envy, the things we want and yeah.

Basically, curiosity. For some reason, I am always very curious, and I like to know things. I like to know everything, I like to ask, I like to find out. I'm always curious about things and sometimes I think things and I say things that don't make sense, then when I explain it, it sounds stupid. Which isn't good, so I guess the lesson here is that maybe I should start thinking … like really thinking before asking and stuff. I know ive said that before, maybe not on the blog, but nonetheless I have, and I guess, I don't want to be like one of those people who become fake and maniputlate and edit words and phrases out of their proses. I feel like I should be myself, be someone who is just normal and act naturally, I don't want to be editing and changing the things I say. Let's hope that maybe I can formulate some questions, if any, that are good and actually make sense as opposed to ones that are confusing and stupid.

Envy. Big topic here, ain't it? Envy and jealousy. Happens to everyone, everyday and for so many different reasons. Sometimes I just go around and I look at people and I see the things they have, whether its objects or people or whatever, sometimes I go… aww, I miss that, or I wonder, what would it be like if… doesn't everyone do that sometime? But either way, I guess we have to learn to accept what we have. Maybe I should be happy for them instead, I should be thankful for what I have. But for some reason, this is really hard to achieve, I mean I try to do it sometimes, but then it just ends with me thinking about myself and being all selfish… which isn't good.

Okay

I'm like drifting off to sleep … like tom…

So just to make sure I don't have to double up on quotes next time

QUOTE TIME xD

Only when we can understand what we have done can we then determine what we will need to do to prepare for the challenges of the future.

I though this was a pretty cool quote… so yeah

Ohh and guess what? I found some more quotes… I had them all along… they were just stored in my fone… and I forgot about them

To some people it may seem as if I'm always texting and stuff, but I'm not really. Sometimes, when its in the middle of class, I'm either checking texts, texting or emailing. But other times, I'm typing stuff as notes, whether they be things that people say that were surprising or interesting or just something that I thought of and I thought was worthwhile. But either way, I just think that its always nice to keep a journal of some sorts. A book where you write all the things that happen around you. I guess this is kind of what the blog is to me in a way… just that I have to sometimes limit the things that I say because of who reads this… but either way… majority of what I think, feel … etc I talk about… its just the odd thing here and there that I have to censor out.

Okay

Sleep time

And its 12:53 am

Not good

Arts Night

Okay, so let's start off with the end of the school day… haha, just cause school today, was just … not that exciting =D

So after school there was an Anti-Bullying Committee meeting where I ran for president… and I was kinda nervous, it's funny… I know you won't get it, but yeah it's just weird… but I had enjoyed reading my super duper long speech =D ohh ohh and no one fell asleep… as far as I'm concerned…

Some people asked me to post my speech, so here it is:

Anti-Bullying

School is not just about academics and life is not just about being rich and famous. School is about the experiences, the lessons and the great memories that we make. Life is about making a difference, helping others and working towards our goals. However, all the wishes and great memories can be shattered and destroyed by simple comments and actions that make up bullying. Being a senior student and a part of the school community, I am aware of the different forms of bullying and abuse going on in the school. Bullying, whether it be verbal, physical, emotional or cyber is a form of harm towards another. It can happen to anyone, anywhere, at any time. Countless students and teenagers have experienced the indescribable torture and pain that is a result of bullying. Being fortunate enough to not have experienced such tragic and life-scarring event, I want to do my best in helping those who are or have been victims. I want to be a part of this committee and to work to the best of my ability to ensure that everyone understands the effects of bullying and to prevent it from ever happening to ANYONE. As one that has not experienced bullying, I have definitely witnessed and believe that I am considerably knowledgeable of its intensity and affects. Although I have not been bullied before, I believe that I can still stand up and help others. I believe that I can still be an asset to the committee. By standing up and showing others that I can make a difference, it will allow others to realize and think that they too can do what I do, that they too can help others and STOP bullying. I have attended many symposiums, discussed and read about countless incidents where bystanders, bullies and victims have admitted to bullying. With my connections inside and outside of school along with the nature of my behaviour and personality, I will be able to reinforce and inform the message of anti-bullying to its greatest extent. I know that I can use my leadership skills, my values, my gifts and talents and my insanely organized manner to construct and develop a change for the better of our school. With my lead, I believe that as an organized committee, we can take small but gradual steps and make a big difference.

Tonight was Arts Night. When I first got there, I didn't have high hopes, I wasn't really expecting it to be all that good, obviously with the exception of some people – Ahem Parco, Aaron, Queenie… but yeah. It turned out that every performance, literally every performance was AMAZING!... I regretted not recording some of them.

So I kinda feel like I need to write this, cause it was absolutely hilarious… what happened was Simon and Julia were the MC's and Simon pretended to be a gondolier with an Italian accent and he said that he went out with lots of girls. Then a little kid from the audience yells out "no you didn't!" and yeah that was really really funny and everyone, except my mom, in the audience laughed… I wish I recorded that…

And NAT! why didn't you let me give you a ride!?!? – you shouldn't have taken the bus and stood waiting under the rain =(

Well, arts night really made me realize how talented people are. Everyone is unique and soo many people are so talented and gifted in so many different and unimaginable ways… let's just hope that everyone can use their God-given talents and gifts to the best of their benefit and help make a difference in our world.

Okay, because I promised someone to double up on the quote today, since I missed last times, here it is

The first one is my all time favourite quote… and its something that I follow everyday… or try to at least

"small steps make the biggest difference"

If you haven't already noticed, I usually incorporate it into my speeches and writing… and even the title of this blog. This is because it is so important to me, and its soo true. I sincerely believe and hope that everything I do, all the small steps that I take, whether they be right or wrong, conscientious or not, contributes towards making a difference in this world and in someone's life.

Second quote… let me search for it

"History matters and we forget this truth at our peril."

When I first read this I thought it was pretty cool… that's why I wrote it down, but also it is really meaningful. It randomly reminds me of history class summer school and being historians and stuff. But basically I guess we can all take something out of this quote too. We can all understand, and learn to appreciate the mistakes that we make and history. If we remember everything, all the good times and bad times, the mistakes and good choices, we will be able to learn and experience better experiences.

Okay, ive gotta sleep now…

Me = not good enough = working harder and harder

Hehe, I guess yesterday's post wasn't as short as I expected it to be… sometimes, more like all the times, when I start typing, I can't stop =P

Okay, let's see, today was a pretty good day actually. Better than I expected, I was kinda dreading it this morning and last night, but I guess sometimes God surprises us with the things he has in plan for us. So during religion, we had another work period for our CPT which I am worrying about because I haven't started. During the work period, I asked to go to the library where I sat at a table and studied the whole period for chem. Then, during second, we had a math test, which I thought was easy… I finished in half an hour… I'm still trying to beat that record… but as usual, I made a mistake… so that's not good

Third period was English. I guess you can say that I worry or feel sympathetic towards some people … but yeah. So it was publication day today which is pretty cool, and I always love reading others' writing. Today I read toms… and as usual, when I read other peoples work, I realize how bad mine is. But since today was tom's essay, it was five times worse. Cause him and ben are just… insanely smart and their writing style and like just work in general (if they do it) is scary good… so yeah. I guess its good that I get to read it, cause like I hope I can learn from it. And its even more surprising when I found out that ben didn't double check my editing… he trusted in my editing… which is cool, but weird because I mean, I am far from being as good as them and he trusted my work… which isn't trustable.. but yeah, now I feel kinda bad cause I missed some things… I guess it's just that sometimes I honestly didn't understand what they were trying to say. Though it might be wrong, I wouldn't know, I just knew that I didn't understand it but I'd automatically think that its me and not their work, and usually that's the case. Same with tests and stuff, like I usually don't ask questions, with the exception of math and religion, cause I don't know the stuff, and because I don't know it, if the teacher makes a mistake or if I think that they made a mistake, I wouldn't know, id just think that I made a mistake or that I didn't know what I was doing… okay, so there's my little rant of the day =D

Chem. Chem. Chem…. We had a test, which I didn't do too good, though I feel that I did better than I expected I would have done but yeah…

Ohh! Right, SAS. What's really cool and surprising is that this morning I went to an Arts Council meeting to see if they needed any volunteers for the arts night that is on Thursday. And Kim, the president said that they needed five people. At first I was like yeah five people, no prob, cause me, melisha, Christina, shagana would already be five… but then I realized its only 230 to 4 pm. Then I hesitated and I also realized that there is student council and anti-bullying meeting, so I'm like uh oh I can't go then. And I started worrying that there might not be enough people… that I wouldn't be able to find enough people, and that would be like bad for the club's reputation. But as I sent an email out to everyone during first period and when I went home and checked my email and I got 5 emails! Isn't that soo great? I really didn't expect people to reply at all, not to mention that fast! So yeah, it's great how people in SAS are soo cooperative and outgoing and take the initiative to sign up for things like this.

Okay, I have to go drive haha

Unfortunately I have to skip the quote, due to lack of time to search for one that I have written down and also I don't even know if I have anymore… yeah bye =D

Happyiness =D

Okay, considering the fact that I am working my ass off, tired and with a headache… I'm gonna make this quick… though it usually doesn't work… but we'll see

So I just wanted to mention that I am starting to get back into the whole tutoring routine and the volunteering stuffs. I really hope that it does continue, I mean I really love tutoring and volunteering, but sometimes things just get in the way and I get tired and lazy. I become the bad mike. Which isn't good, but sometimes I cant help it. But I really hope I can stay good and continue to do whats right…

Uhm, so lately I've been working on my English essay, a chem. Test tomoro, a math test tomoro, an English cpt and a religion cpt due the end of the month… now isn't that interesting?

Enough about academics… let's talk about the fun stuff!

So what am I excited for?

Well tomorrow morning I am attending an arts council meeting to see if they need any volunteers. If they do it will be great… just hopefully I get to help out with the actual fun stuff. If I get to volunteer it means that I can have fun, enjoy the show and go for free =D hehe… uhm, I'm tutoring tomorrow after school and Wednesday after school… which, surprisingly I am excited for. On Wednesday morning, I am gonna have to plan for the next SAS meeting… exciting =D The day I am really anticipating and eagerly looking forward to is Thursday after school. You could say that I am half worried for it, but if I'm half worried, then I'm also half excited. I am saying a speech.. or what I call a speech for the first time in like three years… isn't that something worth being excited for? Also, I am running for president! I really hope I get the position… even if I don't, I hope that someone that really deserves it and will benefit the committee gets the position (not trying to sound mean or anything). Then Thursday night is arts night… and I'm debating on whether my mom should come or not… which is kinda random, but yeah

I'm really thinking about the summer and looking forward to it… already. But I'm also half worried for it, because I really don't want to spend another summer wasting time and just being lazy and not do anything. I want this summer, which is just one month cause I'm spending another month in HK, to be fun-filled and exciting and full of stuff. I hope to actually get some work in there. Because I am not taking summer school, I hope to take some time, a LOT of time actually to review my notes and work on learning some of the grade 12 material for math and science. I doubt that is actually gonna happen, but at least I can hope… and try to make it happen. Also, I am trying to get some more volunteering into my summer. I know that lots of people are getting part time jobs and working during their summer… and because I am so blessed and fortunate to be in a family where I do not need to work, I feel that I should do something to give back and learn to appreciate it. I think I should make the best use of my summer, do something good… like volunteering and also something that would help me … like reviewing and working on some academics.

Yeah, there are some things that I am getting used to and some people that I feel I am starting to get closer to, which I am really excited about. Yet there are also others that I feel like I am starting to grow farther apart from… and others that I hope to get to know better and be able to develop a stronger relationship with. Unfortunately I cant name any names… haha

Oh right! Most important… well somewhat… grad trip! – I am officially planning the grad trip for next year… and I really have to start getting some solid planning and advertising done… this is exciting too!

 

=) =D =P

Okay… guess what?

QUOTE time!

I think I'm running out of quotes… I don't have all that many…

If anyone has any super good quotes… send'em to me please… I could use them… or at least my blog can =D

Okay… let's see… which one is todays…

I think I stole this one from Katie… but I think it's one of the best I've heard so far…

"Never live a day without smiling and brightening up the lives of others." – or something like that… I'm rewriting it according to my memory.. .which as most of you should already know,.. is not the best

 

So yeah, about the quote… I really try to smile, be more optimistic and try to hide my fears and my worries. I've always tried to use my presence to make others' lives more happier and brighter. I find that it is really you can say stupid to live a day being sad and mad and upset, cause its soo much harder and more tiring if you live life like that. Why not be happy and live a great life?

Anti-Bullying

I feel that I have changed. Let me tell you my story haha

Okay so basically, yesterday there was an anti-bullying committee meeting which I decided to attend. Because it is a committee that recently started and they still need execs, the voting period and elections will take place next Thursday. I do want to run for president, I hope I can make it. Honestly, with bullying, I have strong feelings and passions towards it. This is because I understand and have witnessed the fact that bullying is such a strong and intimate topic. It varies greatly and can have such significant impact in a child's life, it is devastating. In addition to bullying, topics that branch off of it are mental illnesses, and abuses. All of these topics are significant and prominent in my school community. I can say that I do have a bit of background knowledge on all of these topics and I wish that I could use my knowledge and skills to work to my full potential and make a difference. Okay, I kinda got off track. So normally during class and in meetings – even BAM meetings, I don't do much or any talking and give contributions to discussions at all. But for some reason, within this meeting, I felt that I had to say something, that I had to voice my opinion. So I did, and I'm proud that I did. There were so many times where I wanted to say something but decided not to. I hope that I continue to do what I did and become a better person while doing it. I just hope I don't talk too much… so I don't keep people from going home. =D

Currently within my workload, I am trying to balance and work to the best of my ability to achieve higher marks and standards. I know that with my work ethic at the moment, it is not possible, so I hope to change and do better!

So this weekend, thank God its weekend by the way… is jam packed with stuff. So tomorrow, I am going to Christina's birthday party. And I'm really excited. We're watching IRON MAN 2 and going to WASABI!!!! Yaya! LOL

Anywho… I don't feel much like talking anymore…

Time for da quote:

Oh, this is from BAM… I thought it was pretty cool:

"Sometimes the hearing becomes so intense that we can hear the listening."

Let's hope that's what happens every morning with the announcements – boy my class is loud… I can't hear anything!

BAM leadership conference 2010

I have missed 5.5 consecutive days of school… that is not cool… I have soo much to catch up on and so much to do.. I am screwed… and yet I am not working on them now… I feel that I should really take this time to reflect and try and understand the past few days.

So, what happened the past few days were one of the most amazing and event-filled days of my life. I went on a three day, two night torch leadership training conference at Mt. Alverno in Caledon, with BAM at BA. This is the second time that I went. Last year I went as a delegate to participate in the training to become a BAM leader, this year, I was fortunate enough to be chosen to become a leader in this conference. I was thrilled to go on the trip and even more excited as I was on it. Being a leader and going through the whole torch process again allowed me to understand and change once again. Being a leader and not a delegate brought forth many new opportunities and changes within me.

It is amazing to see and feel the change that I have gone through since even last year. I remember when I first got to Caledon last year I was worried, and quiet and like shy and all. But this year, becoming a leader you could say gave me a sense of confidence and allowed me to do things I wouldn't have thought I was ever able to do. When I was talking with my group, I told them that I was once a shy and quiet kid… even more quieter than the quietest person here. They all stared at me like I was crazy and one delegate even laughed and said "I don't believe that". I am glad for this change, I feel that throughout the past few days with my group, I was more open and did things that I wanted to do. I was being myself. Each leader had to do an introduction to each of the sections that we had, and my introduction was to the session of Acting. Usually when I speak infront of a big group of people, or sometimes even one person, my face turns completely red, I get really sweaty, nervous and I just stutter and screw up. But this time, I was not nervous at all. I was even a bit excited. As Brother Bill introduced me everyone gave me encouragement and stuff and it was all good. So I read my intro that I wrote…

    "Within all the experiences, activities and conversations we have engaged in throughout the past few days; we have nurtured, developed and gained much worthy insight, skills and new experiences. We have uncovered our hidden talents, strengthened our weaknesses and learned the essentials to becoming a leader. By taking part in this next section, we become the epitome of connections within our school. By taking initiative, communicating and co-operating with our fellow leaders we can go about taking action and reaching our goals. It is not enough to just think about what we want to achieve and to talk about it. We must be firm and conscientious, we must be the leaders we are and act NOW. The acting session forces us to combine our skills and enhance our weaknesses. We are to develop solid plans towards future success. Never hesitate from taking action. Taking a wrong step is better than not taking a step altogether. Let us act in our small groups and make the biggest difference."

So yeah, as usual, I wrote a long intro, but really, I had fun thinking of it and I found that it flowed together and I really liked the message I tried to portray. We had a justice meal where everyone was given slips of paper stating that they were blind or handicapped in some way. And one of my group members said that it is definitely not easy to be blind or not have any hands, but it is also not easy to be healthy. And that really hit me, I was like, WOW that is some great insight there. And its really true, now that I think of it. It really isn't easy being healthy. – its not easy being anything, everyone and being anything is hard, everything has its challenges and obstacles.

In the beginning, when I first met the new nominees, I was surprised and questioned their potential to become a leader. I did not know any one of them personally though I recognized some from the halls and groups. But after these past few days I have spent with them, I can truly say that each and every one of them are worthy to become leaders and they ARE leaders. Really, it may be surprising at first, but I guess I have to learn to recognize good things in others and not judge them immediately. I have also learnt to further appreciate and admire some of the leaders that went on the trip with me (they are all leaders). I found out so many things from them and I hope to one day be more like each and every one of them.

There are so many more things that happened throughout such a short three days, but due to my two tests that I have to study for for tomorrow, I am gonna stop here and finish off with one of many quotes that I have learnt throughout this trip.

    I think one of my favourite quotes was:

Life is not measured by how many breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

For once now, I think I am just going to go and pray. =D