Shoes

Okay, so I am finally home from a super long day at school and then volunteering for Gospell, which, by the way, was FANTASTIC! =D

So, I guess today at school wasn't really much of an exciting day, it was just normal. Nothing super interesting or nerve-wrecking. It was just a normal, calm day at school.

I think it is either that I am super stressed or something. Cause (it might sound like I'm whining or complaining or something, but I'm not – I hope I'm not) really, I don't know it just feels weird, I don't really have a way to describe it. Like, just now, I for some reason just bawled my eyes out. And it's weird cause I don't really know the exact reason why I'm doing so, I just am. Well, actually I know there's a reason, just it's yet to be discovered/ revealed to public. Times like these happen every while… guess its when things don't turn out, or feels like I just can't do what I want… when things just don't feel like they're fair. But I guess these are the things I have to learn from. Maybe that not everything in life is fair, which is unfair…

Oh, something you guys should know beforehand: whenever we (my mom and i) have conversations and my brother is there, either in the car, at home, whatever. He is physically there, but not mentally. We talk and discuss about something, which relates to him and we ask for his opinion and he goes "huh?" he didn't hear us! He wasn't paying attention. He had no clue what on earth we are talking about. And I think it's really unfortunate that he cannot contribute and take part in our conversations. Like he just isn't willing to. So like the other thing is that whenever my mom and I talk (when I refer to my mom and I, it means we are openly talking, meaning my brother or anyone else can also come in and talk), my brother is kind of excluded. Not because we don't include him, but because he himself stays out of it.

Okay, so I guess I randomly found a lesson or something that stood out for today. Before I begin with my story though, I just want to say that I am not blaming anyone, trying to be selfish or greedy, although it may sound like it. So basically my mom bought a new phone, but only because she liked the phone, not because anyone needed a new phone. She wasn't going to use it. Actually in the beginning, she was debating on whether or not she was going to buy it, but I knew she liked it, so I told her that she should get it. But she also didn't want to buy it and leave it there, 'cause it would be a waste. So, I told her that I would use it if she wanted me to. And I thought it would be nice to switch phones. (not that I didn't like my blackberry or anything) So later on in the week, my brother finds out because my mom was telling him about it. He then gets really excited and goes "OMG I want it! I want to use it! I'll use it for you!" A few weeks past and it is mailed to our house. Today, we got it, and as we got home, he saw the box, which my mom left unopened and he just opened it and started playing with it. My mom tells me that he said that he will use it, only for the first few days. And I'm like, WTF, you can't do that. Like its not right, cause you can't just take something that is new, and like it only because it's new and use it then when you get bored and tired of it after a few days then give it away. Its not right. Later on in the night, after the phone has finished charging, he goes "can I use the phone?" and I'm like yeah, if it's finished charging, cause I thought he meant whether or not he could use it if it hasn't finished charging. Then he goes "cause mommy said you wanted to use it to, but I want to use it, so can I use it" and I mean, really, I don't think he deserves it. – not that I really did anything to deserve it either, but I think if he wants to use it, he should earn it. But he asked me, not that he wanted to, but because he knew that if he didn't ask me and get my approval, because I initially said I would use it, my mom would not allow him. But him asking me like that, puts me in a situation where, if I said no, it would be mean, selfish and just not right. But if I said yes, then I wouldn't get to use it, which isn't really a big deal, but I guess, I kinda had my hopes up for it. So what I said was: "well, what do you want me to say?" then he goes "well, I want to use it… so can i?" like he's basically asking for my permission, and he doesn't take my feelings and emotions and my desires into consideration, he only cares about whether he gets it or not. Well of course I had to say yes.

Like I guess the context and content in the story doesn't really matter, cause I don't need you guys to know everything that goes on in my life, but I think that the message or what you get out of this little 2 minute real-life scenario is what's important. Basically I guess, we want to learn to take people's feelings and stuffs into consideration. Try to learn to put yourself in someone else's shoes before you make a decision. So when my brother asked me, or even before he asked me, if he would have thought about the fact that I might want to use it too. The second thing is, once you realize that they want it too, or that it would affect them, CARE for them. Try and make sure that they are okay with it and don't manipulate them as to put them in a position where they have basically no choice but to say yes. But I guess like, people like me, would rather sacrifice myself and deal with it myself, as opposed to being selfish and not care about others, even if they didn't deserve it.

Now, some of you may be thinking that I am a totally materialistic and greedy person. But I'm not, well I hope I'm not, cause I know that it is so much more important to divert away from materialistic and tangible things.

Due to the lack of time, this is my whole post for today, but try and get something out of it. Other than the fact that I dislike my brother – which I don't. I guess these are lessons on the learning.

Quote:

Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Care for them as you care for yourself. Make sure that no one is harmed by your actions, that is the essential to achieving your goals.

Maybe that's not the best quote ever, cause I just came up with it, but like I tried to summarize the lesson of the post =D