I should really be doing work right now… like I have soo much stuff to do… I shouldn't really be blogging, but I guess I kinda feel that I should write about what's been going through my head these past few days… or maybe even just today.
So I think the highlight of my day was surprisingly the liturgy that we had in the morning. I was kinda looking forward to it this morning and yesterday when I heard of it… I don't quite know why, but I just was. This morning, when my alarm rang, I was like: waaat already?" I was even thinking of like sleeping in and what not cause first period was nothing – that thought just ran through my head… but then I'm like, we have liturgy, I shouldn't really miss it… maybe I will learn something… maybe it will be good… and yepp, I was right, it was good, and I really liked it. I think the things that have been mentioned during today's liturgy was something that I already knew, but it was amusing to hear again because it was like a random flashback of yesterday. It's really funny because something that the priest mentioned today was part of what I talked about for my interview yesterday, and I was really shocked…
Uhm, I guess that like my life so far, is really busy… I know I say that often but its really quite weird, cause I can say that I sort of like it busy cause then I don't have to waste time and I can do soo much stuff and I can do things that really need to be done and important things instead of wasting time on things that I don't need to do. But then there are times like today after school when I got home… it was weird… I didn't even sit down on my chair yet, all I did was lean in and put my hand on the headrest of my chair and I started crying… it was really bad… I don't even know what I was crying for and why I was crying… during the time, I was constantly thinking; "what's wrong? What's happening, why is this happening?" but I guess I kinda felt better after… something that I don't feel often… (hmm… might regret posting this… but … I think I'll regret either way…)
I have a chem. Test on Friday… and I am really worried for it. Like chem. Is good, but its hard, I like it better than physics, but its still not the best. Like I spend time on it… I really do, I spent such a long time on this worksheet that we had to hand in and I was kinda confident after I finished and when I handed it in. but when I got it back, I didn't do so good… and I was worried, I am worried. I need to know what I did wrong and how I can fix it… but like the thing is that even though I spend so long doing it and put so much effort into it, it somehow, just like physics doesn't really work out, and all my effort just seems to go to waste. I know that sometimes when people ask me; are you worried, are you ready, did you study and stuff, I usually just say no, yes, no respectively… but that's usually not the case… I don't know why I say it, now that I think of it, but I just do… right, getting back on track… so about the chem. Test, I really need to study and I should be studying now, but I'm blogging… which is more important =D… but yeah, so I have to study tomorrow after school, but I am going to fusion, and I'm not going home before that, meaning I will start working at 9 and for some reason, the past few days, I have been super tired. Maybe its because I'm sleeping late, but I'm not really sleeping that late, I don't know why, I'm just super tired lately. And I kinda have to go tomorrow, first of all because I bought the ticket already, but its not just because of the price… I kinda wanna watch the performances, especially because lots of them are my friends who are performing, but also because I promised some people I would go and I would stay after school and I don't wanna break that promise… so basically I'm choosing not to break that promise over my chem. Test. But if I think about it, if I just study really hard tonight and pretend the test is tomorrow and study today as if the test was tomorrow, I should be okay right? I mean I don't think that I will do any better if I study on Thursday, and I don't think that I will really end up studying on Thursday either. I guess, sometimes I go to the point where I sort of give up… well not really, but something like that… like I just get fed up. It seems that no matter how hard I try, how much more time I put in than others it still doesn't work…
This is just the beginning, I haven't even started with my other subjects yet… and I will soon miss a full week of school… I am going to KILL myself soon! O.O
Euhh…
Alright, so much for a short post… anywho, sorry guys for making you read all my troubles… and stuff… but I guess, blogging for me is sort of a way to say what goes on in my head, it's a way for me to let out my emotions and how I feel about different things. Like right now, when I'm typing this post, I'm just on word and I'm typing whatever comes to mind without worrying about what others think and who might read this… but then… every once in a while I realize that this is a blog that I'm writing and I might edit a few things here and there haha but yeah… I guess its more of a diary or "journal" for me, but I'm just posting it online… cause before blogging, I used to type entries like this, but more personal on my computer and save the files… so yeah…
Okay… I have to put this in… I couldn't help it… mass quote!
"the difference between a smart person and a wise person is that the smart people learn from their own mistakes whereas a wise person learns from others' mistakes"
- I hope that myself along with all of you would be a wise person and learn from others' mistakes. I know that we can't be mistakeless.. haha my word! .. but we can still learn from others' mistakes as much as possible to decrease the amount of mistakes that we make… it will make out lives easier…
"the troubles and sufferings that go on in our life are there because God wants us to learn and grow stronger because of them."
- Funny thing is that that is somewhat similar to what I said… just in a different context… and what not
Hehe, thanks guys
1215 word post… now 1218…
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