It's been a super long time since I've posted… or so it feels like it
But as usual, my excuse is that I have been super busy.
The things that I remember are failing my English essay. My very first English essay of the year .. I actually thought I did good, but I guess I didn't according to my teacher…. I hope I get good soon.
My grades are actually really bad right now. Like seriously bad. That's not good for university. And they look at midterms. That is really not good. I guess what Mrs. Smyth said was right. But I don't know. I feel like extra-curriculars and all that involvement in school hasn't affected it that much. It's been a long time since I've actually done stuff first thing when I got home for extra-curriculars. However, going downtown every Saturday takes away my whole Saturday of work, so that's the only bad thing. But other than that, I haven't done much. Which is good, but its also bad.
On Thursday night I studied the whole night. Surprisingly. Usually when I get home after school I get really tired. I want to take a rest, or I cant focus or something goes wrong and I don't end up doing homework. But for some reason I managed to stay focus and not want to go to sleep. I just studied for biology. I had a quiz the next day and lots of the stuff that I missed while I was at muskoka is on it, and I didn't have the time to catch up. So I turned off the laptop and I studied. I was actually successful in studying. I memorized all that I thought I needed to memorize, however during the quiz on Friday there were some things I didn't know. But either way, I knew a lot of it. I actually memorized all the cycles and processes. It was hard to memorize, well not hard, but time consuming, there were so many terms and so many names and what not. I had to write it out on scrap paper like 3 times each for every process.
Today I went downtown again for Tedx meeting. I went there early to go to the U of T open house. Now I am debating. Like I wanted to go to U of T just cause it's close to home. But then I was like, if I got accepted, I might want to go to residence. But it's expensive and lots of people think its stupid to. But I'd like to get involved, get close to the people there and get used to the atmosphere. Not only that, I don't want to waste time commuting when I could be studying or doing something more productive. But then U of T is also very competitive first year and what not and I'm worried that I will do really bad and might not make it to second year. But I don't know if it will be any different at the other universities. People say it will. But how am I sure? I don't know and I wouldn't. But if I go to the other universities it might be inconvenient, or I might not be used to it cause I am far from home. I don't like that. But I might not want to stay at home either, just cause there are so much distractions here, and also its really loud here, and its not the very best working place. But I think what I really want is to be able to say "I want to go home" and then I can just go, quickly. So yeah. Iunno that's just me.
For some reason I never seem to have enough energy for anything. Like on Sundays I would wake up at like 11am because someone wakes me up and then I do work for an hour or two, and then im tired again, lose focus and want to go to sleep. It's really bad. I need more energy. Let's make more ATP!
Yeah, I'm studying for biology, or I should be at least.
Just wrote another poem
I'm getting distracted
That is not good
Quote time
I haven't done this In a long time
Here is one I wrote a few days ago
"You can't go back in time, and you shouldn't waste time trying to. What's done is done, put your energy towards the future and make it better."
I guess with chosing universities, and almost anything else, you or I at least always think about what would happen if I chose this. Is it the best choice? Should I chose something else instead? Would I regret? I guess I don't really have answers for those things – I never do. But I have to make those choices eventually. And I think what we should really do is not waste time worrying about it and thinking about it after choosing it. I mean it's done. Even if it's a mistake, I've already gone wrong, and thinking about it and wasting time on it will just make it more wrong.
So look forward, look to the future – with an open mind, a big heart and trust in your hopes.
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