Hesitation

There are so many things
That I want to do
So many things
That I want to say

Things aren’t
As they appear to be
I am not
As good as you think I am

Always unsure
Worried of the future
Wanting to find out
To know what will happen next.

No one knows, but God himself.

Though I have a plan
But let me warn you
It is not the best
But I think its a good one

- always open to compromise and amendments

Lets work on communication first
Though I still want to know if you
Want to go out with me
But if I only ask
And you say yes
And nothing happens

It seems unfair
Unfair to you
I don’t know what to do.

Maybe I’m to young to go out
Maybe I’m not ready

Although you are more important than academics
I should still focus on academics
That is my future
- what I do now reflects and foreshadows my future.

Maybe I shouldn’t be so corny with my writing
Maybe I shouldn’t say I love you so much
Maybe I shouldn’t show it as much

It always seems so awkward
You seem appauled, shocked
- gives me a feeling of hesitation;
That I am doing something wrong.

You have waited for so many years
It’s unfair for you

This is my first crush
You are my first love

I don’t know what to expect
I don’t know what to do

A part of me says I
Should go out with you,
Start a relationship
After all, I am 15 already and it is the year 2009

But another part of me says
I should stay single
- no relationships
Wait till after highschool

Possibly university
But what about graduation dance.
No date? No dance?
Though I really can’t dance
But being with you is already
Satisfactory

Semi-formal?
I know you want to go
I knew you wanted to go with me
But I should’ve asked you
But I didn’t know what to do.

Many times in life
Hesitation takes over
And that is when you let
God decide.